Hi Ivy,
I can only echo the advice from Lindyloo, take care of you first, it’s very hard when we are always putting others before ourselves and sometimes wondering why we bother.
I also have a Son who is an addict, he is doing well at the moment, but I’m always anxious when he goes out, I try very hard to not let it get to me too much, because the worrying and fretting does eventually make you ill yourself.
I don’t think we will ever understand how an addict thinks or anything, my Son tells me this.
This forum is great to share our stories and chat with people in the same situation. Read through some of the other stories. I have found the Forum to be really helpful and glad that I found it.
Take care and keep in touch.
Dx