Hello Ivy,
I’m so glad you have found this forum as it is a great place to talk with other people going through what you are. What you are dealing with is very hard and a lonely place. if you feel it would help please contact us at The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports the family that are having to deal with an addict’s behaviour. One of our trained and experienced people would get in touch with you if you contact us. They would listen, understand what you are going through and would be able to let you know what other help is available to you.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
All the very best.