Dear Lindyloo, Jaynhissay, and anyone else who has taken the time to read this far,
Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. They are appreciated and needed very much by me at this time. I pray for your continued recovery Jaynhissay , and the same too for your son Lindyloo. Sincerely.
However I am not yet at a stage where I can buy into the
“ He has to want to stop “ philosophy. He did want to and has tried many times over the years. Now it seems he is preparing to die. He has nowhere to go and noone to really help. The hospitals kick him out overdose after overdose. The social work department are jaded and really don’t have the facilities to help. They just go through the motions. They mostly hate their work, but are in the trap of – I need to pay my bills and the monies not too bad. You can see their contempt towards the heroin addict and feel their lack of enthusiasm.
The police harass the most vulnerable of addicts: the injectors. Although they let the dealers get on with business as usual. The police are corrupt.
I have so many storIes I could tell. Here is one small example.
One time I called the police. I told them that although I do not use drugs myself, I could point out three different doors on one street where I could purchase anything I wanted with just a chap on the door. Heroin, crack, coke, valium, etc. etc . Yet they did nothing except nod in agreement. No interest, no arrests, just business as usual. The reason I called the police was because my son was venturing into his first experience of recovery. This was a few years ago.
My son who was being supported by family and trying his best to quit was given a script for Subutex. He was stopped in the street by the police almost every day on his way to the chemist and strip searched. Humiliated . Day after day, week after week until they broke him. Sent him straight back into the arms of the dealers who were hanging around like the vultures they are. Waiting.
This is the level of corruption the addict is powerless to overcome. I could go on. I have seen a lot now over the years.
Heroin addicts are stigmatised here in Scotland. The general public mostly perceive them as dirty and lazy. Shame and stigma abound on every level. The most vulnerable are the most vilified. People make mistakes.
That’s how it is here in Glasgow. We have the highest death rate in all of Europe. The situation is a failure of society. People drop dead almost daily on the streets in the city centre. Almost 14 in one week at the start of the Covid. Yet people just walk on by. I guess it’s easier for people to pretend it’s not happening, not their problem, which in fairness it isn’t, but where is the humility?
There is no kindness anywhere anymore for the addict who injects. Other than a few wonderful volunteers who walk the streets at night and of course many of the general public who kindly donate to charity. It’s not enough though. We should ALL be volunteering. We should ALL be out protesting. We should be educating each other.
Is another night in watching Boris et al steal from us all really so difficult to give up for a night or so? Could people not march en mass for a few hours and at least try and make a difference. Addicts are not treated this way in other countries, right enough neither are children or pensioners. Sorry, please forgive me my frustration and my diversion.
I have read all of the posts and threads on here. I can relate and take much comfort from your words and experiences, I also feel a little less alone . I admire the strength and sense of community. I’m glad you are all here. I thank you.
Maybe one day I’ll be able to conduct myself in a more lighthearted manner? However I’m not there yet.
Please do not think badly of me for saying this , especially as I have only been shown kindness here and I know this group has my own best interests at heart. Without sounding ungrateful – yoga, meditation, walks in beautiful surroundings aren’t cutting it for me right now. Nothing makes me happy. I practice all of these things regularly . I no longer care that I am dead inside. I don’t even want to be happy right now. I want change and peace for my beautiful boy and all the others who are suffering.
Ivy x