Stay strong Jaynhissay. It’s great that you and your mum are building a relationship together again. I imagine she is bursting with glee inside. I know I would be. This difficult gesture you have made will be building so much trust between you. Don’t know what to suggest to distract you from the brain “stuff”
When I decided to stop smoking cigarettes for health reasons, I used to indulge in a dialogue with my craving thoughts. I would openly say stuff like “ Ivy, this cigarette will only put your lungs under attack. You won’t be able to breath, your bronchi will hurt and you will cough. Then you will want another one” stuff like that. I still have to engage with myself in this way, it’s not easy, it costs nothing and It’s still working for me ???? Don’t be too hard on yourself. You did good today.
Ivy x