I’m really sorry you are feeling like this. Cocaine is actually the nastiest for actually changing the personality. I was told this by a drug and alcohol specialist. You are so brave for separating, I wish I had, mine ended up leaving me accusing me of an affair I never had. Have you looked to see if there is a local Al anon group near you? There are many local ones probably meeting virtually now. I think the structure and routine of meeting people who have been through it may give you the local support that you need. Friends and family although well meaning will not understand what you are going through. Sending big hugs xx
