I am so sorry that you have to go through this as well and your poor boys. I have told my partner to have a serious think about what he wants to do with his life, how he wants our son to remember him and his childhood: does he want our son to say when he is grown up that yeah daddy had some issues but he worked hard and overcame his demons or that daddy had some issues and was drinking and doing drugs all the time until mummy had enough and got us out of this situation and now I don’t even know if my daddy is dead or alive as I want nothing to do with him. I know it does sound harsh but when you are desperate to talk some sense into someone you do say anything.
I also suggested that we moved to a different area, try to get him away from the dealers and the “friends”. But to be honest with you, I am not sure it would make much of a difference. He is saying that it would, however I know that if he wants to find “like minded friends” and find some gear, he will be successful as he is a bubbly outgoing chap.
He admits now that he is struggling with the fact that if he hasn’t used for a while, he gets confident even over confident and thinks that he is fine, he can go out with his mates, he can have a few drinks or even get drunk and not use. And maybe the first time he can, and this boosts his confidence even more. But the next time the drug always gets him. Plus it doesn’t help that his mates are kind of offering it to him every opportunity they can: oh go on, just one line, the missus won’t know. But the missus isn’t stupid, she knows the signs and even if I don’t say anything, I know he has used.
At the moment I am hopeful. He is focusing on other areas of his life, his work, family so maybe this time we can move forward. He does tell me all the time that he wants to stop, he has done his time with coke, but it’s such a common drug and it is a demon, a very sly drug that gets you when you least expect it.
I hope for you and for your boys that your other half will see how much pain he is causing you and the kids, how he is destroying everything you have built together. Take care of yourself and am here to talk if you need x