Coco1212, thanks for yours! Honestly, I’ve never shared such detail before, my friends judge me if I say too much and sometimes I just hate to hide it. It’s been quite therapeutic just being so open and although it’s sad that other people, like you, are in a similar position, I’m reassured at the same time.
How’s he doing now? Taking his medication in front of you, he really does trust you then. Yes, it does take over at times, it shouldn’t have to take over, would be nice to have a crystal ball, know that it lasts for x and one day when x it’ll all be good and life will be happy.
Doing ok-ish here, thanks for asking. We had a lovely weekend celebrating his birthday, a few minor hick-ups, all the usual crack related, but ultimately it was really nice to have some quality time together remembering why we do this. He’s been in a really positive frame of mind for this past week, and his use has been minimal since Sunday. He’s just got paid now though and so, once again, it’s that time of the month when he falls off a cliff. Feeling a bit low if I’m honest, I know what’s coming, and now we have lockdown. I’m continuing to live with and support my elderly mother, and I absolutely don’t want to take any risks with this new lockdown, so trying to keep myself distracted and put off being with him as much as possible, which doesn’t benefit me, but absolutely doesn’t benefit him.
One positive thing happened though, I sowed the seed and suggested to my bf that he see the dr maybe get something on prescription to “help him control the cravings” as I put it. He was positive, but said he wants to get some Valium, I argued that prescription drugs are advancing all the time and the dr may have something more suitable and effective than some corner shop Valium. He came back with another defence, I can’t and don’t want to push it, so I didn’t pursue it any further. I’ll re mention it again in a few days, but it really does depend how he is in the next few days.
It’s such a roller coaster isn’t it. Just going to wait it out I think. As best I can.
Xxx