Oh Coco1212 no, I honestly feel the anger right now. OMG I’m so disappointed for you. What can you do? Will you give him a second chance and a warning? If only we could lock them up until their body is rid of this disgusting substance. That’s how I feel sometimes. Yep, my bf is ignoring me, I suspect he’s smoking ALL of his money right now. He’ll be back at ground zero again in a few days, that’s all it takes to burn everything he earns only on crack. This is when I seriously just wonder if he’ll live or die or suffer a stroke or something debilitating, which is likely now with his age and the amount he’s used it over the years. I’m trying not to think about it. The arse thinks he’s invincible, sometimes he is, I know that won’t last forever.
Distance for me is making things easier, being away from him and with my mum makes me think how hard would it be to actually walk away for good now you know. Not so hard as it used to feel. How long do we go on like this?! I think loosely I’m deciding to just keep going for as long as the covid craziness lasts, I should have some more money by then, and I can move on, on my own, move back closer to my mum. Who knows what’ll happen in the meantime.
Annoyingly again this month things got tight for him and I paid for food, some credit, all stuff he said he’d pay me back for, those were the terms. He hasn’t paid me back yet, sets me back even more, pulls me down with him yet again you know.
Honestly, still hoping for the best for you, I hope he realises how close he is to losing you totally. I hope it doesn’t go that far.
Are you managing to look after yourself in all this? I hope so, I know it can be emotional turmoil. Sending love xxxxx