I’m really sorry that things have got even worse.
You have no choice but to walk away.
This is his problem
You can’t fix him – only he can
My husband said I was a trigger when he was withdrawing from if. That broke me, but since he’s been clean he said he wanted to hurt me. He wanted me to feel shit because he was.
I said he had to go to the GP, and he did. They offered him counselling. His started straight away. Mine took 8 weeks, as I was the stable one.
Make a GP appointment and see what they can offer.
As mine took so long I found someone locally and said I wanted a counsellor who would see me, then hubby and then us together. We started that in June. It has helped so much, really made things super clear. I did about 2 sessions alone, 5 as a couple and then I realised he needed it.
So he now does AA smart meeting (online)
NA smart meeting
Private counselling all once a week.
There are online counselling/smart groups everyday of the week for free. Your GP should be able to point you in the right direction.
You have no choice but to leave him and walk away.
Everyone will then see it’s not you, you aren’t causing this.
You have no choice and you can’t fix him. You can only fix yourself and if you stay, and he doesn’t change, then you are causing yourself misery.
When I found out about my husband it was the biggest shock. I did everything they say not to do.
I demanded he stop. I demanded his whole salary be paid into our joint account, I demanded he see the GP, GP said Social Services had to be called (that was one of the hardest parts for me as we have three young children) I demanded he test every two days – this he did for 5 months, no it’s ad hoc testing.
He did it all, he did every single thing I demanded of him. I now know why… he knows I wasn’t ever going to accept his drug habit, I will never accept it and I will leave him if he ever fails one test.
At first I worried I wouldn’t stand up to that, but now 6 months clean. I KNOW I would have and I still would. I will never be with him if he uses drugs even once more. It isn’t an option.
Statistics say they always relapse etc… and I read hundreds of stories on here of relapses. I walked around with a sick dread in my stomach that I was asking too much. I wasn’t! I was asking for what I deserved and what his children deserved.
You deserve to be loved, looked after and be put number one.
Tell yourself you can’t fix him. This is not your fault and it’s time to walk away.
If he chooses drugs, then you rebuild yourself. That’s all you can do. All you can do is fix and mend yourself.