Hi Halo20
Thank you for sharing your story and for being so strong.
My son is 27 and Ive stopped letting him into my house since January. Most of the things you mention I have been put through. Over and over again by my son, and now I find myself weak and alone.
Sometimes I feel helpless and angry too. Angry because my sons behaviour caused this situation to exist. Helpless because it’s such a waste.
I wonder everyday if we will ever have a happy, respectful and peaceful relationship again. Recently I’ve had to question myself if. I still love my son. Part of me does but I fear It may no longer be unconditional. Right now? I don’t like the mans lifestyle one bit.
I am struggling but instead of searching the streets in the dark I’m going to look for something to lighten the load. I forget what joy feels like. My current version of joy its to be found in the little things I do for myself. Something as simple as making a cup of tea.
It’s such a sad lonely life right now, but things can change.
I’ve tried everything I know for more than a decade to help him. Now I just feel I have to look after me for a while or else I will lose my sanity .
My self esteem is lying on the floor and it doesn’t belong there! I’m giving myself a chance for a happier future.
Stay brave,
Best wishes
Ivy x