Thank you Kellie I hope you find peace too. No matter what the addiction they always find an excuse for doing it, as you say you want to scream at him, I want to scream at my partner that he’s the one that deserves the potential death sentence my ex husband has just received, I’ve bitten my tongue when it pops in my head each time as I don’t wish that on him and it’s a terrible thing to say, yet I still think it because I want to hurt him to shake him out of it and make him wake up and sort himself out. But I unfortunately know it’s pointless saying anything at all to him with the state he is in. Last time he tried blaming me saying he didn’t go to work and drank because I hadn’t prepared his food and he didn’t have any clean clothes, it was absolute rubbish, I have meals I prepare and freeze for him and the clothes were in his drawer, but they don’t know what the hell they are saying and they don’t care that they hurt us, all that matters to them is their addiction. My partner went to court recently for more access to his daughter, we spent a fortune and it caused so much stress and worry, yet his ex knows nothing about his drinking and this was not a reason for not allowing him to see his daughter, his ex was just bitter he left her – if only she knew what he’d turned into. He won extra time which was fantastic, and I do all the dropping to school & collecting, my daughters and his love each other to bits, and somehow it’s left to me to look after all of them. How would I leave and upset the 4 girls in this way and tear their lives apart. My daughters will have their lives turned upside down when they find out about heir dad. I wish I could disappear into a hole and hide as well, yet tomorrow I will go to work, sort the kids and carry on as if it’s not happening because I have no choice. You are amazing, everybody on here is amazing to cope with loving an addict. Xx
