No you shouldn’t have to lose everything and it’s awful that’s the choices you feel you have. I understand and I wish mine could know and understand what he puts me through. My partner doesn’t go out I must admit, I don’t have the fear of the knock on the door, instead I have to keep checking he’s not dead in our bed but at least I know where he is I suppose. I couldn’t face cooking today and opted for takeout which the kids were delighted with but I feel bad for not being a better mother & feeling unable to motivate myself to cook. It must be so hard for you wondering where he is and what he’s up to, they do not realise or care about the emotional damage they do, a few weeks ago he was gone when I woke up and turned his phone off all day. I had to sort the kids and work, I couldn’t get hold of him all day, in the end I called the hospital and they confirmed he had admitted himself in, basically because I took away any chance he had of getting his hands on alcohol so they had to treat him because it’s dangerous. I am not proud of myself forcing our NHS to treat him but the other option is letting him spend all our money, be unable to pay rent and bills and him kill himself that way with the kids watching. I have just checked on him and his stomach is jerking which I have seen so many times now and I know he will have to go to hospital a bit later, he won’t be able to work tomorrow and we lose £250 everyday he doesn’t work, so he sure doesn’t get to spend any. I wish I could give you a massive hug and tell you it will all be ok xx
