Sabin, I really feel for you and your husband’s situation.
Every support line will tell you to stop paying out cash for him. He’s never had to deal with the consequences as you have always got his back. We’re the same, so much money, thousands paid out to scumbag dealers. Scared that something might happen to him.
We’ve told our son, no more cash, not ever. He’s holding down a good job thankfully, so much money wasted, through drugs in the past.
Such a waste.
Fortunately my son is in his own flat, so when he was using, we weren’t really affected until he was needing cash. Last few times I only bought him groceries and cigs. No cash at all.
I think the comedown from cocaine, makes them depressed and low, and argumentative.
Talk to him when he’s in a better frame of mind. Suggest joining some CA meetings, he’ll meet others going through the same. We don’t understand the process or the hold it has on them, but another person with addiction will.
They all support each other, just like we do here.
Don’t give up hope, things can change for you all for the best.
Unfortunately, covid is compounding matters.
Take care of yourself first and foremost, take pleasure in the little things.
Stay strong
Lx