I am so sorry. Breaks my heart reading your lines. I do hope you can sort something out and keep him away from you and the kids until he gets his act together. What makes me upset is that they don’t see what they are doing to us. They don’t see how they act when they are on the drugs.
Stay strong and don’t feel ashamed or intimidated. It’s nothing you are doing, it’s not your actions. He has a problem which he can’t see at the moment. And you know what? Sometimes they do have to hit rock bottom to realise it’s no life they are living. I hope things will work out for you. Be safe and look after yourself xx