The thing with us was so different to your situation liberty. Basically I had, had my suspicions of drug use and knew if I asked him out right he would lie so while he was sleeping I went looking for evidence and I found it. I confronted him and of course a lie came out. I think it was a day or two later that I noticed things (Christmas gifts) were going missing, he was acting suspicious so again I went looking not sure what for and in a draw I found a gift. I hit the roof and told him to leave and never come back which he did without complaint. He tried to explain or anything he just left. Then a day or two later I heard his car in night, he tried to hide it and sneak down to the house out of sight but I’d already clocked him when he got close enough and I knew I’d be quick enough to confront him before he ran off like child I demanded the key back. And again he gave it up without complaint.
I didn’t see him for a few weeks after that. He then got in contact with our eldest child he saw them few times and I said because of the children he could stay Xmas eve to see the kids in the morning but then he would leave, he agreed but he never showed he blanked them to take that all Christmas and new year even his family abandoned them. He got back in contact without explanation a few weeks later but seeing for minutes and at a time which made me angry. Then his birthday came I knew it was a difficult time due to grandparents deaths being at this time also. I said come round we’ll have a take away and that so your not alone again he agreed. But on the day his dealer took him to a fancy restaurant buying him champagne which he doesn’t like and cocktails which he always claimed was girly so would never have one with me. Anyway to cut long story short thats how it was until October when he was attacked he dipped in and out.
It’s hard, really hard when you have feelings for someone and they can’t/ won’t help themselves.
He was doing so well but Sunday was relapse day and today he’s had money so we’ve not seen him and tomorrow he gets money so once that’s gone again he’ll be selfish.
Today I’ve told him stop saying to people I’m your girlfriend, I’m not, I stopped being that when you decided to take these drugs. He never responded.
I’m slowly becoming like you detaching myself as best I can. But I’m still not very good at it. I dont regret it but it is hard.
Do you think he called his sister ?
You have to ask yourself how long have I got to keep putting myself last for ? I’ve got to ask myself the same thing.
How long have we got to put up with all their crap before our feelings are acknowledged?
I think deep down we both know the answer to that. But it’s the hope we hold on to that tells us to keep trying.
I don’t feel in control. I don’t think I ever will be with this.
I’m going to try to have a conversation with him tomorrow if I can keep my anger in check. X