Hi Liberty,
So sorry to read your post and hear how you are really confused about how to go on dealing with your partner’s addiction.
I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust. We provide support for people going through what you are. If you get in touch I can put you in contact with one of our trained and experienced people. Talking to them might be helpful and they will also let you know what other support is available for you.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
All the best.