Hello curly c, I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you are feeling. I lost my husband a few wk ago to alcoholism. Cruse wasn’t really helpful for me. You need someone who truly understands alcoholism, the journey we go through as their loved ones and family and someone who understands we start a recovery ourselves once we have lost our alcoholic. I have approached icarus Trust and have spoken with a lovely lady there twice and I feel she will be able to help me. It’s not limited to 6 sessions. It will be for as long as I need she said. What I learnt during my time with my husband is that the alcoholic feels they wouldn’t live without alcohol. They feel they are the lowest of the low for hurting their loved ones. They feel guilt, anger at themselves for not stopping, but feel they would die without it. Your brother would have loved all of you, because he didn’t stop doesn’t mean he didn’t love you. I believe my husband loved me as much as he was able to. I know he hated himself when he saw me in tears. He tried to get sober twice by going to rehab but relapsed. He had too many demons he couldn’t live with them sober unfortunately. The alcoholic does go into a denial to cope. To live day by day. Please try the icarus Trust see if they can help. I know how heart broken you will be feeling as I am too. I sit some days just thinking, why? Why couldn’t you just stop? That’s all he had to do stop picking up a bottle. Life his so hard. I pray you find the help and support you need. Hugs
