I totally understand. Your absolutely right they don’t get it do they the children see what they are it’s nothing to do with us.
One of my children absolutely hates his dad and has no respect for him whatsoever. I do say to him sometimes mind your mouth but he’s still your dad. Like you say they don’t mind the children having consequences for their actions but don’t expect any for themselves.
I feel for I really do. It’s a horrible situation to be in. And it is most definitely a vicious cycle.
Sending love to you x