Hi I hope you are okay and please stay strong. Sorry for the long reply as I am in a very similar situation and have 2 kids.
My wife is an alcoholic and has been for 10 plus years. She suffers from anxiety and I believe that she uses drink as a means of controlling it. Sadly she doesn’t see that drinking makes it worse which starts the endless spiral into alcoholism. She drinks around 3 to 4 bottles of wine a day, every day. I use to dread coming home from work as she would often be fairly drunk and would normally pass out after dinner. She doesn’t work and since lockdown I have been working from home which makes what she does during the day even more obvious. She pretty much starts drinking on the sly as soon as she gets up thinking I don’t know, then she starts drinking visibly around 3pm when it looks appropriate and this continues throughout the evening until she goes to sleep at night, often taking a glass of wine to bed with her.
I have found empty bottles of wine hidden around the house and I have talked to her many times about her drinking, the hidden bottles and nothing has worked. The first time I raised it she walked out on me and the kids. She came back later and stated that drinking makes her happy and I was the one with the problem. When I first found out she drank in the morning she was embarrassed and said she’d cut down but hasn’t. I am stuck on an emotional roller coaster with her as I love her and want her to get better as I know she is a good person however nothing I do or say has an impact.
I’ve said before that the only thing you can do is focus on yourself and your child and not their drinking. Unless an alcoholic wants to get help then there is nothing you can do. It’s a challenge as you feel somehow responsible, but your not. You cannot force them to do anything they don’t want to do, it is their choice not yours.
Just focus on you, and spending time doing something for yourself and keeping your physical and mental health strong. Hard to do I know from experience but the only thing in your control.
We are each on our own journey, however we are not alone and can support each other along the way to hopefully a happy outcome.