but don’t you see, that is exactly what addicts do. They don’t have the capacity for rational thought – their lives are chaos, so whilst they while away their time justifying their awful behaviour and lack of accountability, you end up feeling like YOU are the problem, you are the one in the wrong, YOU are the one that’s losing your mind.. and you DO lose your mind. I suffered anxiety, panic attacks, depression and also physically trying to help my addicted partner.
Let me assure you on one thing… you withdrawing and thinking ‘they will appreciate me now, they will see what they have lost?’ WAKE UP! They will never appreciate what they’ve lost – if they loved and appreciated you, they wouldn’t be doing drugs! I accepted a long time ago my boyfriend wasn’t going to stop ‘because he loved me enough’ – if he loved me he wouldn’t have spent 2 years using crack, abusing me and lying and making me feel like I was the problem. I walked away from the man I loved most in my life.. and I continue to fend off his pathetic excuses to contact me.. because I woke up and realised.. you know what.. there will be a man out there who DOES love me, and doesn’t put drugs before me, and doesn’t lie to me, and doesn’t make me feel like I am worthless.
my partner (i imagine when he was low and coming down and had run out of drugs and money) texted me and told me how sorry he was for being so cruel… and that he never meant to hurt me… the difference was this time I didn’t respond to him and I didn’t respond to his call. What did he do? Went right back to using his crack …so he can get on with it… and sit and rue what he’s lost. But life is short and I will not waste it on a junkie anymore. I suggest you do the same and find a woman who will love and appreciate you DavidK.