Jaynhissay, thank you. “ there isn’t a lot that can be done to help until the addict makes the decision to get clean and then they have a better idea of what they need from the people who are supporting them with their recovery” – this I am realising now, so much so, all be it, I’ve done so the hard way. I do wish that I could’ve known this sooner, but having said that, I think my persistence in trying to fight his addiction with/for him hasn’t gone unnoticed, which is one positive.
It does sound like you’re very fortunate. Not having to turn to crime and having such support of your family, and maintaining your career. My bf does struggle on that front, which we are trying to address, together, but mostly, it’s covid now preventing him from working.
My bf has a lot of people around him, most of them use drugs, not many are/have been addicts, but many of those who were are dead. Mostly either OD or were killed in a drug debt related crime. Death is a very final solution to a temporary problem. We can’t die and look back and think about it or how that impacts the lives of others. Once we’re gone, we’re gone. I’m glad your attempts to end your own life failed, life is so precious and delicate. There are many people in this world clinging on to life as it’s being taken from them by disease or illness, those of us who are lucky enough not to have to cling on to it shouldn’t throw it away either. Not when we only get one chance to enjoy what we’re given. There’s so much you’ve yet to experience being a parent, I’m sure. As someone who had a parent very suddenly and prematurely taken from their life, I realise the impact of losing a parent. The questions I couldn’t ask for opinions on. The situations I couldn’t ask for support with. I’m a much more serious person as a result, which sometimes I loathe. It does leave a gap that can never be filled.
I’m trying to make my bf realise these points. He has so much he hasn’t seen/done/experienced. I keep reminding him of the many pleasures in life beyond just coasting. Stuff that can only be enjoyed with a clear head and a healthy body. Hoping that will see us through as well as it can. I’m sure it’s the same for you and your son.
Christmas Eve is here now. I know there are many people here who I feel very grateful to have connected with through this forum. Thank you for sharing some of this years darkest moments with me. I wish you all the very very best for Christmas, especially during covid. I hope that you all have something joyful and comforting to enjoy. Much love and care as always. Liberty xxx