Hi Joanne, the fact that you are feeling bad and reaching out says a lot about you acknowledging and wanting to get your habit in check. Only you can change what you’re doing, addiction is a cruel way to have to lead your life and will not only effect you but all who love you. My husband is an alcoholic who I had to call an ambulance for on Christmas Eve with four children in the house. The last week he has been unable to help with any Christmas preparation and I have not even been able to leave the children home as there would not be a responsible adult in the house. He is still in hospital now and whilst our four daughters have had a lovely Christmas, it’s been marred by dad not being here and my Christmas has been completely ruined, add to which my own family have turned around and had a go a me for loving him in the first place. I am exhausted and feeling very alone. While you are in this frame of mind and wanting to change please go with it and take any help on offer to you, I’m sure you would never want to be responsible for making anybody feel how I am and more importantly the shame and disgust that I know my husband is feeling right now, in hospital having been put on oxygen and morphine and waiting for scans to find out what damage has been done. I wish you the best of luck, being an addict doesn’t make you a bad person or unworthy of love and you deserve to be happy, being an addict will only bring you and all who love you misery. Xx
