Hi,
thanks for reading my story and your comments,
It sounds like you have your hands full too, sorry to hear your xmas has been ruined,
that’s the problem with these people, they are incapable of holding it together for events,birthdays etc, none of that registers with them, its almost like the pressure of giving someone a nice birthday is too much for them to deal with and they can’t prevent themselves ruining it.
sounds like you are similar to me though in that you can’t turn your back on him,
as angry as it makes you and run down, I think we both still have that little bit left in us to keep trying to hold it together and still longing for the good times to return.
also, I know what you mean with the whole “when things are back to normal” routine, I think that’s what makes it harder to give up on them, because we experience this good side and for so long it fools me into thinking it was all behind us and things could never return to how they were, but then another bad occasion is always looming, sometimes years later.
also during these “normal” periods, they act like nothing ever happened, like it wasn’t even them almost, like they don’t even remember it,
but i’ve also found the “normal” soon shows cracks if you start to mention them slipping into bad habits.
luckily for you your partner doesn’t seem to do the abusive part, but its still not right that you are left holding things together, relationships are supposed to be about being a team.