I just read through your other posts for your story,
sorry to see this isn’t even the first alcoholic you have had in your life either.
which brings me to a previous point I have made where I wonder if people like us are somehow drawn to someone who needs help,
yet sadly we never get no thanks for it, and when it comes down to it our help can all just be undone anyway.
also I was going to ask how old the children are but I see in your other posts that the eldest is 11 (and sadly self harming and growing up in a time where online bullying etc is the normal)
so I’m guessing they are perhaps still too young to fully realise the problem although its surprising how much kids do pick up on.
I was so glad when I found this site though, as everything is normally about the addict and their problems (mostly self inflicted) yet really I cant help feeling the real victims are the people like us who are rational but trying to rationalise the behavior of the ones we love that don’t comply with rational behavior.
and thats what nearly sends us mad in the end, so hearing how our behavior as partners is almost as typical as the behavior of addicts does help.