Yes he works 12 hour days where he can be d&a anytime. He will be sober for weeks sometimes months, he has a vet well paid supervisor job, when the drinking starts he stops going to work and our finances are heavily affected. They are very good at their jobs just unreliable but running at 110% other times! Whilst he does it I have no choice but to keep working or lose more money when I feel like I’m barely clinging on to my sanity I’m forced to work harder because of his addiction.
My husband was abused and had broken bones at 3 years by his mother’s husband and he and his two brothers & two sisters were put into care. He never sounds like he is full of woe about it and says it’s made him the person he is now and sounds positive, I think he maybe kids Himself. He did bad things as a child and youth, spent time in prison and got into a lot of trouble. Nothing like that for over 20 years though. He was with the mother of his children for 13 years and did not behave the way he is now, I know this because she wasn’t allowing him to see the daughter and we went to court two years on the trot to get proper access and she used everything she could for him not to have his daughter, this was not something mentioned and they did checks on him twice to see if there was any welfare issues. Her problem was he left her and she was bitter and used the ‘I’m the mother card’ to stop access and basically hated me and blamed me. If she knew what was going on at the moment she would stop it all. His daughter knows what is going on as he told her a few days ago, she told him she loved him and chooses herself not to mention these things to her mum as she knows she won’t be allowed to come here, and she loves being here.
Last year in January he caught hepatitis A which is a liver virus infection, since then the alcohol has a physical effect on him. I sound as if I am making excuses but that is a fact, after that our troubles began. I believe he has experienced depression and has had a lot going on to deal with as a person a lot of his life, that coupled with the physical issue bestowed upon him last year has equated to catastrophe for us. But it is still no excuse for what he is doing to us.
I actually enjoy listening to depressing music as well lol, I will listen to him and give it a go thank you for the recommendation. I’ve probably heard his music but I’m a bit rubbish with artists names!
It must be so frustrating for you when she tips the scales back and that is where I find they start using whatever it is again, we start noticing those signs of them feeling negative and then eventually realise they are using their drug of choice in secret and it all makes sense. They say it’s because they feel depressed but in truth they did it first as habit and then the real depression hit them full force and here you are again and it’s everyone else’s fault. Talking to you is helping me so much I thank you for being here.