that is such typical behavior,
just remember he is projecting his blame onto you,
to avoid it being about how he has messed up xmas he’s turning it around to being about you.
its the typical addict trick, like I said, its exactly what’s happened to me with our bust up, it’s now about how I behaved in front of kids etc rather than what she is doing, so the original issue is forgotten and its about something else, its just diversion tactics.
as for your previous message,
I would normally be going out of my mind worrying what is happening without me there but I feel like I’m in a new place at the moment of just having to accept it’s all out of my control and also I don’t want to know right now.
We speak a bit on phone each day, I cant visit her at the minute as she actually has covid, so thats forced me not to see her, but currently I think it’s probably a good thing as I don’t know what will happen when I go back, I feel so utterly hurt by everything that happened I just can’t imagine sitting around a table eating dinner with the family anymore.
even though I didn’t officially live there, it was like my home, I no longer feel like its my home or ever will be this is what makes me so sad at night, as I feel things may have to end as I cannot see how they can go forward yet I still love her and don’t want to see her sink.