Hi I have been married for about 15 years and for the last 10 or so my wife’s drinking has gone from a few glasses of wine a night to about 4 bottles a day, everyday. She has always “liked” a drink but the bit that hurt the most to me is the early morning drinking and secret drinking and finding hidden bottles around the house. I often would dread coming home from work at 5pm as I never knew what sort of state she would be in. Deep down I knew she would be drunk and I could always tell by her bloodshot eyes. Like you and since lockdown I have worked from home and noted her habits of loitering around the kitchen so she can sneak drinks of wine. I have confronted her in the past a number of times about her drinking and each time she said she will change but doesn’t. I think partly its because they see it like a thrill from having an illicit secret affair, only its with the booze and not another person. Personally I can see the only way she will change is if she has a major health crisis (not that I would want her to have something like this, though I can’t see how her health isn’t being impacted already) and even then I am not sure she would stop. Sadly I am stuck, as we have young kids and my desire to protect them outweighs my desire to leave, as her drinking would put them at risk as she often falls asleep from being drunk. Honestly, even though I love my wife deeply and it hurts me a lot to see her this way if I knew this was how she would end up and how its made me feel I wouldn’t have married her as it just complicates things even more.
