Hi lostgirl, welcome to the forum.
Everyone on here has a loved one with an addiction and there’s also people in recovery giving advice and support.
Your bf hasn’t ended the relationship lightly. It’s good he needs to concentrate on himself at this stage to get well. My son also has alcohol and cocaine addictions. The alcohol triggers the need for cocaine and so he has to abstain completely.
He was told by his AA fellowship that he has to love himself first before he can love another.
My son also has no off switch with alcohol or drugs. He has an addictive personality I think.
We enabled my son originally, by paying his drug debts, but when he was serious about stopping, we bought his food, cigs etc.
My son is currently 70 days clean, I’m so proud of him, its been really hard for him to fight the demons in his head.
Read the other threads, adfam and Icarus trust have advice and support.
If your relationship is meant to be..im certain he will come back to you, you just need to be patient and he needs to know that despite his issues, you still care about him.
I hope this helps, im so glad he’s seeking support.
Always here to chat
Lx