you are right that it’s like I am addicted to her, and just cannot give her up despite how clearly bad for me she is.
sadly our two cats are technically her cats, so that’s just something else I lose in all this.
I do have a friend I chat to about all of this so I do get to vent somewhat to him, although he likes my girlfriend and can see why I’m so reluctant to let go as he knows how well suited we are in so many ways when drugs are removed from the situation. so I guess he doesn’t really want me to leave her, he like me still thinks the problem can be fixed if she could fix herself, but he does agree that I need to keep away for a while and let her dig herself a hole as clearly all my previous efforts are futile and completely unappreciated.