After reading both of your stories relating to cocaine and addiction I take comfort knowing I’m not going mad.
A mate of mine who I’ve known for 6 years, but on a more personal level for for about 18 months has a major cocaine addiction.
I’ve posted a discussion on this forum.
My mate has slowly been on a downward spiral since I’ve got to know him in the recent months.
What started as a once a month addiction has turned to 1/2 times a week.
He makes promises, and really sounds sincere in wanting to come off the stuff, but he always ends up using. He has been to meetings and heard other people’s stories and doesn’t consider himself that bad “yet”.
I’m confused, as I know he’s a decent person, we used to kind of work together, and when he left his job that’s when he contacted me.
I’ve had the comedown episodes, the remorse and guilt, see it first hand and I’ve said I’ll be there for him, but I will not be entertaining his world when he is on one. I’m trying so hard not to.
He sits on whatsapp all night when using, spilling his guts, talking to anyone who will listen, messages women and even to the point of sending me photos of women who he is supposedly seeing. Don’t get me wrong, he says when he’s sober that when he’s in that state he doesn’t respect himself and he’s right he never does anything like that when sober.
We spoke several weeks ago over the phone, he was in a right mess, called his boss high and said he can’t come to work, she knew he was on something and stopped him talking further.
I told him, surely this is a wake up call he needs, and he said he had been clean for 3 weeks (a time I refused to tolerate his behaviour and blocked one another)
He said he couldn’t believe he f’d up like that but he would take the help work offered and if he’s clean there will not be problems. He said he recorded himself whilst high, he said he sounds like a mess and he feels ashamed.
Well, less than a week and he was back at it again.
Worse thing for me, he lives away from family and friends and isolates himself away and gets on one for up to 18 hours at a time. My fear, no really knows what’s going on, or if they do they don’t know the severity of it and will he wake up after a session or worse a heart attack.
He is so sneaky with what he does, but yet it’s ok for me to know.
I’m going out of my mind, he is a friend, but the drugs alters his mind; one minute his fine the next his someone completely different.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want him to change for me, I want him to do it for himself. I’m not looking for a relationship with him, originally I was keen on that, but the worser he has got the more I worry about him, I wouldn’t allow that type of person in to my world so freely, but it doesn’t stop this constant ache.
I’m scared of the outcome, I’ve lost family and friends to substance misuse and I really am dreading finding out he has lost his battle.
How do I support him