Drugs do change their personality, because it induces chemical changes in the brain. But don’t ever let them off the hook by saying ‘well, they can’t help it, it’s not something that can control’ – if they want to stop, if they love you, value you, respect you.. THEY WILL STOP. Addicts do stop.. our partners are choosing not to stop.
You speak of another misconception that kept me hanging on – ‘they need our love and support.’ Yet, at the same time, you are expected to suffer their abuse, their lies, their disrespect, their mood swings. Getting half a person, half a relationship..?
How many times do you want to run into the burning building to save them, only to watch them run back inside? You are starting to get burnt yourself, every time you run back in to get them. Stop. Because the only person that can save them is them. Stop trying to rescue a self-destructive addict. You will get NO thanks.
The first time I broke away, I managed 12 weeks. Did he contact me? Not once. Too busy using crack, and mixing with God awful people. When he hit a low, yep he found a way to get back into my life. And I was foolish enough and weak enough to allow it. What did it do? Opened me up for 3 more months of anxiety, heart ache, lies and abuse. I draw the line now.
As Whitney Houston sang, I’d rather be alone than unhappy.
How you doing David? You thinking enough about yourself and your own mental health and well being? If you cared as much about yourself as the person breaking your heart and disrespecting you, you wouldn’t be on here.