my partner is well into his latter years, so don’t expect age to change anything.
All I can say is, the more you start to value yourself, the less bullshit you tolerate. Yes, it’s ok to be compassionate and kind, but there comes a point when kindness is mistaken for weakness. You tolerate the lies and abuse and moods, and keep coming back for more. They genuinely don’t believe you will leave them.
The thing is, people take drugs because there is something missing in their lives. No happy balanced person takes drugs, they don’t need to. But addicts do, over and over. So trying to rationalise with them, and whatever is going on in their heads, is completely futile.
I didn’t think too much what he was thinking or doing in that break, just as i don’t now. I can’t stop thoughts turning to him, but I can control them. Difference is now I remember almost all the bad stuff, the hurtful cruel abusive stuff and not any of the rare nice moments – and it makes me angry to think I tolerated it. Which is why I won’t give in this time. I will never forgive him for what he put me through and the way he treated me. And he can blame the drugs.. but ultimately, he and your partner need to take personal responsibility for the harm they’ve done – and the crappy way they’ve treated good people.
She won’t be so complacent if and when you meet a lovely lady that treats you right. And by then, trust me, you won’t give a hoot about her. You’ll be exactly where I am right now.