Hi Cem12,
Welcome to the Forum. Never think that you are on your own, this is a great place to share your story and keep in contact with people.
I read your story and feel frightened for you, he doesn’t sound a very nice person to be honest. If you have never taken cocaine before, please do not take it anymore, it will destroy your life, you have already nearly died from taking it and propanol.
Can you not to talk to your best friend about her brother? You said that you have never drank or smoked before you met him and now you are drinking and taking cocaine, I really don’t think that you are happy in this relationship, personally I’d run for the hills and never look back. Get back into your running and cycling, exercise is good for the mind.
Please keep in touch on here and take care.
You can always talk to the Icarus Trust as well.
Dx