‘If he had his own place, safe and secure I could relax.’
Do you really believe this is the case? Do you think he would be capable of running his own place? In my experience, addicts lives are chaos. And whilst you’d still be getting a break, you would understandably worry what he’s doing, and if he is ok. This is natural.
I don’t want you to think I’m hard because I’m not. I’m a realist. There is a probability something will happen to him. Addicts take massive risks every time they use. The stress they put on their heart alone is enough to kill them. My partner was twice taken from drug dens in an ambulance. He has now had TWO strokes. Has this stopped him using? No.
If someone happened to him, I would be devastated. But what I won’t do is held accountable for the consequences of his use. As I said to you, until he loses everything, he has no reason to stop.. and there is still the chance that wouldn’t be enough to stop anyway. His problem sounds as bad as my partner, Crack (and occasion heroin that he had to wean himself off). So this is not a fight you can win. But I do appreciate the terrible position you are in, which is why I urge you to start putting some boundaries in place, so you can at least hold on to some of your sanity, and your own sense of self-worth. You are going to need all the strength and support you can get.