I’m so sorry to hear what a truly horrible time you’ve been having and the massive things you are dealing with. You sound very strong but if you would like some support for yourself, and maybe your dad as well, please contact us at Icarus Trust.
We are a charity that supports families going through addiction issues. We offer a range of services and if you contact us I can put you in touch with one of our mentors that we call Family Friends. They are experienced and trained and maybe talking with one of the will help you to make sense of things.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
All the very best to you.