Hi thank you for your words, discussing things with people that understand has been such a relief to me at difficult times.
I think for me that’s the thing i can’t let go of the hope that maybe the man I fell In love with returns. But it could never ever be how it was, the trust has completely gone for me and respect. I worshipped the ground he walked on. I knew him for years as friends but we were together only 2 years it was an absolute whirlwind, I had just come out of a 10 year relationship (I’m only 33) and he came into my life and helped my put myself back together. He was my rock.
We got engaged and planned to get married this year. Seems like another life now.
I hope you find the strength to deal with this too, its soul destroying. Are you still with your partner?