Hey Enough,
You sound so caring and loving. Imagine having a cocaine free life and going to bed with your partner and not even having to think about it like it never even excised in your relationship. Well unfortunately it is affecting you and your in love so it’s like a devil on your shoulder. Knowing many people that have suffered and do suffer this dirty drug I have learned to known that usually you have only two options and one is to give him the serious and final ultimate to get genuine monitored help and stop with monthly testing! Or you leave the relationship and I’m serious!! Do you want this for the rest of your life or do you want to be free from this and enjoy a living environment and a stress free life. He will keep feeding you this “I will stop” but I can guarantee you he can’t ????????♂️ It’s not possible and he will always know that you will back him up unless you leave of give him the final warning. I think you probably know all this but it’s talking the steps to do it now and not in another 10yrs time when your mental destroyed and he’s drained and burnt out. Try and get some different support and make new decisions that he’s not familiar with to try and break the cycle. I wish you luck