I think our experience with an addict sounds pretty similar,
yes I think she is pushing me away because she cannot face herself, and I refuse to condone what is happening by burying my head in the sand, whereas her and the kids seem willing to bury theirs.
It makes it hard for her to pretend there isn’t a problem when I’m there pointing it out.
maybe once she faces her problem she will be ready to face me, but I cannot be the one to fix this only she can, but a lot of stuff is permanently broken this time, things will never go back to what they were even if she never repeats any of the past again (which isn’t very likely as this stuff has a way of repeating)
the past few weeks have been quite a ride in terms of emotions for me,
but I do feel stronger now than I have at any other point,
to the point that you do start thinking “do I even want to go back?”
funny enough last night she did txt me just casual stuff like how are you?
but I don’t know how to take it, and rather than being over the moon that she is making contact I’m just dreading that it is building up to something worse like rather than her finally understanding why I am so hurt, she will just say things to add more to my pain.
although it was probably just the usual technique of trying to act normal and not actually address anything, in the style of ignoring a problem and hoping it will disappear, which was the normal resolve to any arguments.