Hi KatieN,
My parents divorced when I was 8, it was very messy and they were unable to co-parent. I didn’t want to put my children through this.
I thought at the time I was shielding my children quite well from the effects of their fathers drinking. However,as they reached the teenage years they were so much more aware.
The children were shouted at for making too much noise when he was suffering from hangovers, I discouraged their friends from visiting as I didn’t want them seeing my children’s father in a drunken state.
He didn’t attend parents evenings, concerts and even their christening as he would be in the pub after work and at 11am sharp on weekends, infact my daughter has since told me she was surprised he attended her university graduation.
He is impossible to reason with when drunk and while I would just wait until he was sober teenage girls are not so willing. My eldest daughter left home at 16 because she she couldn’t stand his selfish behaviour, my middle daughter battled an eating disorder aged just 14 because she felt it was the only thing in her life she could control and still feels he chooses drink over his family.
All my daughters suffer anxiety to some degree and only visit early morning before he starts drinking.
I’m not saying he was all bad, he worked hard to provide for the children and they never went without, infact he would overcompensate with material things and money but emotionally he was not there for them and they have never felt supported by him.
I do hope your situation is different and your children are minimally affected. I wish you and your children all the best. Take Care