Hope you are OK. I’ve never been in this situation, but I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it too much. I’m a cocaine addict and have been clean 7 weeks now. Us addicts can only take so much help it is mainly down to us. In fact it is just down to us. We can’t blame people for our own problem. I have had countless arguments with my gf, she’s dumped me and so on. All because of my addiction, it ruins family’s. But in the end its only us who can get us out of this mess.
It’s natural for you to think about the what ifs? One last chance with him? And so on. I wouldn’t worry too much, I imagine you did your best, and he would of known this, and both forgiven each other deep down. Just be happy for the good memory’s you had together.
Hope this makes sense, I’m no good at this and no one replied to you. No one who has passed on would want someone blaming them self’s for there death. Try not to worry to much. Try and say a little prayer to him. Hope this helps ❤️