What an absolute roller coaster of emotions our lives are!
All for what? For someone to inhail something that’s going to make them pace up and down for hours!!
I love this forum and feel it’s saved me in a way.. I know I’m not crazy I know its not all in my head!
So it got so much worse he was sneaking off 2/3 times a week.. even told me once his mum was in hospital snd he needed to go be with her?? I knew instantly it was a lie. I would beg and plead with him to please stop and come home I threatened family I threatened police. Nothing worked.
It happened again on Monday just gone so I went to his house.. he welcomed me in and said look I’m not doing anything… all i could think was not downstairs but it’s probably upstairs or u knew I’d come or ur waiting etc etc… in that moment I thought absolutely no more I’m acting crazy!!!
They make us paranoid and anxious and it’s too much! Last summer I suffered so bad I was suicidal.. lowest point of my life. I can’t go back there again!
I told him no more.. all of his things are bagged and have been sitting in my flat since Monday.. every day there’s an excuse why he can’t get them… I’ve told him collect them tomorrow or they’re in the street.
I can no longer pitty him or want to fix him because I’m currently fixing myself.
I blame myself for even thinking I would help him. I’m triggered by any drug talk.. tv documentaries drug talk in work.. anything.. it makes me feel sick to my core.
Between the drugs, lies, mental and emotional torture, escorts, sex meet up sites and just general topic behaviour he has ruined me!
I’m almost 29 and this man has single handedly ruined my mental health in the short space of one year – sickening!!!!
How is everyone doing?
Sending so much love
Xx