Hi February Marie,
I was sorry to read your story. I wondered if you read the Thread, there are several of us mums all with sons with addictions.
We are all here to support each other.
Danman83 is a person in recovery, he offers good advice and is currently doing well.
I think until he admits he needs help, there’s little we can do until then.
Please look after your own health and well-being for the moment, confide in a close friend or just vent here.
The Icarus trust posts here, I believe they offer advice and support too.
For the moment take pleasure in the little things, maybe meditation to calm your anxiety.
Take care of you first and foremost.
Lx