Hiya jadeem,
I have just read your story and it is like re writing my own current situation/life.
My partner of 7 years has got so out of control, even running about for drug dealers so he can pay back what he owes, he never pays back as he’s always getting more, so the debt just builds up. I spend nearly every night on my own its just me and my son. I am awake every hour worrying where he might be, he doesn’t answer hes phone or any texts. I’m constantly in tears, but am in same situation as you as cant talk to family friends as they just wouldn’t accept it again. I’m here to talk x