It’s good how you feel about him, some people don’t know how good they had it until they lose them. He should be happy your showing these feelings, but I don’t know what he’s thinking or his situation.
I know what u mean that you feel like walking away. Just do what your gut instinct tells you. If you do stay. You can’t put up with this for years if he doesn’t change. Some one else might appreciate you more and you have yourself to think about. Addicts have to fix themselves then everything else falls into place. Same with my kids. I have to think of my recovery 1st then everything else falls into place, and it is doing. Its hard explain but it just feels great with my kids now and an even better connection now am 2month clean.
I’m exactly the same everything happens for a reason. If your happy being with him, do what you thinks best. I understand when you say if you leave he will turn to crack and so on. Its just one of them crappy situations and only you can decide what’s right for you. But you have your journey and he has his. So don’t ruin your own just for some one else’s if that makes sense. I don’t want that sound bad lol.
These messages help me as well. A lot! I have message people each day in recovery who I don’t know. Its crazy. But helps. I’m always here if u want to talk.