Hey there, I hope you are OK. I’m 10 weeks clean from cocaine now.
1st off you are not to blame for any of this! His relapses or all his own fault. We chose to take the drug not you. There is emotional, mental, physical relapse. Emotional is were we start arguments with our partners as an excuse to use. We might not even want to use but your brain is that clever its planing ahead for a relapse if this makes sense. This could be what he means by blaming you for the relapse.
The problem is with being on good money, you buy more, and side effects or worse. I had to quit because of the come downs and feeling suicidal and depressed for days. They are horrendous.
I’ve tried everything to quit, hypnotist, no alcohol, locking phone away and so on.
But the 1st this he needs to do, 1st is.. he needs to want to quit for himself and is determined. Then he needs delete all dealers numbers out his phone, all people he uses with even family. Delete Facebook, insta and all others if he is on. As you can message dealers on there. He needs to avoid places he has used drugs and avoid were he has met dealers for drugs, as this is a trigger to use. I have bought 2 safes and my gf use to lock my phone and car keys away early Friday and Saturday. Its about limiting the ways of getting it. He cant drink ever again if he doesn’t want to use coke. Alcohol is the main trigger to get coke. I can’t ever have a drink again or I’ll use.
He needs to change his daily routine around now and take up hobbies or activities to keep him busy.. Decorate, gym, walks, play with kids, read. Anything he wants.
I also listen to addiction recover stories and podcast on you tube these help me a lot.
I did all this and it kept me clean for a while. But what’s really helping me now is I joined CA anonymous, I got a sponsor and I’m working the 12 steps. I’ve never felt so happy. I feel like I’m getting my life back. There are online meetings on zoom. He doesn’t need to speak at 1st if he doesn’t want to. Just listen. You get other addicts numbers and talk each day and it helps you in your recovery. Trust me this works!!
You ask is possible to quit without some sort of help. Id say he could get a few week in maybe a month then his head will tell him he’s OK now.. He can have 1 drink it won’t hurt him.. Then it’s back to coke.
Your brain tricks you even a year later. It’s like having a devil on your shoulder. With CA you have the tools and people to help you each day and a good support network.
Tell him it’s not all about god aswell. People get put off by this. Feel free to ask me anything