No you’re not being stupid. You start telling yourself that you’re overreacting, that you’re being paranoid, and then you’re worried about their reaction when you do confront them.
I didn’t need to confront my bf, he admitted it – it’s almost like he’s proud of it ???? I’m going to have a conversation with him tonight and just say it’s me or the drugs. I don’t want to live like this, in this perpetual cycle of anxiety and depression and worry.
If you want proof, try checking jeans pockets and his wallet, although you said earlier you’d searched his belongings. If he’s going to a mate’s house then maybe he leaves it there? Hopefully if you have kids he’s not stupid enough to leave a stash in a hiding place at your home.
I’m so sorry for you, it’s horrible isn’t it. But the sooner you confront him / ask him, the sooner you’ll be able to make a decision and what to do going forward.