Hi esta,
I have just read through your post,
And I can honestly say I thought I had wrote it myself!
My partner of 8 years who I have just kicked out and got my locks changed because he was a living nightmare with hes IV coke addiction, the dissapearing acts for days on end, every weekend the same story, every day the same.
Worried sick all the time as to wether he was alive or dead, when the truth be known he was actually mixing with homeless people with bigger addictions than him. He was being used for hes car so he could score drugs.
He didn’t ever give me or our son a thought, how I was coping or how I was keeping the roof over our heads.
I got to the point where the same as you I was hiding hes habit and it became so tiring, making out to people that we was living our best life. When all I was doing was either sitting alone waiting for him to appear, or walking on egg shells waiting for him to be moody for the whole weekend.
I had had enough of him thinking that my home was just somewhere for him to lay hes head and eat free food, to then leave as soon as he had some rest and money.
I had holidays planned and nice times out but everytime it always gets ruined all because of there selfishness.
And untill you make the step to say you no longer are going to stand for it then they will carry on thinking that it is OK.
Hope your all OK xx