Hi Ash,
Thank you for your reply. Last week was i was really falling apart with everything and i spoke to the doctor. He put me on anti-depressants and temporality on to diazepam. I feel a bit more human this week. Partly because of the medicine and partly because I’m witnessing one hell of a change in my husband over the past two weeks. He really does seem to want to get better and now that he told me everything i can see how much he too was suffering in his horrible lonely world.
Last year on Mother’s Day he got angry the night before and stayed up late drinking and doing that stuff. He stayed in bed til 4pm and then ignored me, then argued with me in the evening. No card, no flowers and he did not even say Happy Mother’s Day. He broke my heart and i was so ashamed of him i didn’t even tell anyone until this all came out.
This year however… he got up early, went out and bought us all breakfast rolls, did some work on his car with our son (who has also been ignored bc of the addiction), then took all the kids shopping to buy nice gifts. Like he used to do before this happened.
Also, during his active using he has been so heartless if i have been sad, but since it all came out and he has seen how hurt and upset i am he has been comforting me like a husband is meant to. It has been a shock for him to see the damage he has done but it is an important part for him to accept this and put things right.
He has promised he will never let me down again or lie to me, and I’m really starting to believe it. I know it’s still such early days but there is hope.