Thanks everyone for your comments. He is seeing his ca sponsor tonight and has an appointment with a counsellor on Friday. He’s saying all the things like he’s disgusted with himself, hates hurting me and really wants to change. I believe he means what he’s saying now but I can’t get over the lies and betrayal over the past year, then the last 3 weeks. I told him the time that it all came out in January that I would support him through it and if he had a slip, he should tell me. I told him I would leave if he went back taking coke and waited for me to find out, that I would leave him. Now I’m in that situation, I don’t know what to do! We were so happy, travelled the world together and were best friends before this started. Now I don’t know who I’m living with and I can hardly bear to look at him. I really don’t want to leave, I want the life we had planned before this but I don’t know if that’s possible any more. I feel so stupid and cheated thinking about marriage and babies while he’s spending every penny he has and running up debt in coke. I feel so lost!
