I just wanted to clarify i wasn’t condoning substance abuse during meetings, my husband’s sponsor wasn’t ready and willing at that point. He continued his path until everything did cave in and at that point he realised he had to stop and do it properly this time. And I’m glad he did for my husband’s sake. He’s an amazing sponsor.
A lot of people get told to clean up but aren’t ready and willling to change. They might go to a meeting to see if things will blow over, then carry on.
It might take many attempts but they have to hit a rock bottom before they can go back up again.
Sal98 i completely understand your reasoning too. When i found out in some ways i felt that i should automatically kick my husband out. But thinking rationally if he wanted to get better and has our shared dreams as a goal it gives him something to strive for. When it all came out i made him go talk to his parents (partly bc i couldn’t handle being around him then) and he broke down to the ground that he had let me down, and the kids and deserved to be thrown in the gutter.
Yes, he has let me down but he’s only human and it all got out if hand. The drugs played tricks on his brain. He can put it right. His recovery comes first and everything else will fall into place.
It’s still very early days but so far, so good.
Good luck this evening. It sounds like your boyfriend needs a lot more support to keep him on track.